Well I just need to vent my life somewhere so I can feel less chaotic. lol. So this is totally random and totally just so I can understand everything thats overwhelming me. I dunno exactly where to start.

So I've been enjoying my time with James for one. He's been treating me very well and I'm happier. A lot of people actually have been complimenting me this past two weeks. Going on about how I look healthier. Someone said I have more color to my complexion, and My mom said to me the other day that I have a butt now, and I have more curves. She says that I was really skinny earlier (I'm not disagreeing with her, but yeah.) She told me that I look more shapely while still maintaining my weight. I also got my six pack back! Its weird. Its really giving me persepctive that if you're not happy its hard to stay in shape. B/c I've been laughing more and going out and having a blast. I've been staying at home and being loved, and going to work feeling like I'm something. Its just crazy. Everyone talks about it, but I'm actually seeing it all happening to me and for me. Just being happy and stuff is super important. I know this, but it took me sometime to seperate myself from happiness and sadness. I suddenly see it all clearly now.

James and I decided we're going to try and live together. Which is pretty crazy since its so hard to find an apartment these days. Its kind of an important time in his life, and I totally know I dont want to stop our relationship, so we decided living together makes sense. B/c he's going to be super busy. He had a huge interview with Microsoft and they offered him another position to apply for where he'd be traveling and stuff. His interview for that is tomorrow, so he's way excited. Anyways, he also goes to school at Bellevue Comm. College and works at a piano shop in Bellevue. Anyways, I've kinda been wanting to work on my adaptablity in places, and I know that I have to expereince another store transfer inorder to accomplish that one, so I dont mind moving to Bellevue so its all convient for him. It'll be new for me. The only problem is, BELLEVUE has such crazy varances on prices. If I pay 900 dollars my options are unlimited, if I pay 700 its slimmer. I totally have a feeling that things will work out fine, but it just sucks b/c James has only less than 2 weeks at his current residence. And the idea was to have a place by April 1st. Its getting tougher, but who knows maybe something will work out yah know? I'm trusting god and stuff. I also know there's a stressful thing going at my parents house. The morgage company sold my parents morgage to a new company and the price of houses in Kent is rising. A house that use to be in the 60,000's is now 315,000+. My parents are worried about a foreclosure. So its like I know I need to move forward and understand this stuff is not my responsiblity, but its my family! And its just really confusing. Its not like James and I found a place yet, its just hard b/c with all of James situation I dunno what to make of it all. It makes me feel bad offering to James to live at my parents house, but I dont want him to not have a place to stay. But I know everyone will benifit from it temporarily. So we'll see, I'm still apartment hunting, James has his big interviews, and my parents are figuring stuff out too.

The family stuff kinda was addressed above. Mostly my parents house is being threatened into foreclosure. Alex just has his birthday, which was cool. We went to Gameworks and he had a blast. Monique is starting to flip out being here. She's had a ton of episodes and is very aggressive. She's been hitting people and screaming and cussing out people left and right. She said that we baby Alex, and its unfair of her to say that b/c honeslty she went to the ocean for her birthday and we took her out and stuff. Its like we didnt celebrate Thanksgiving so we could focus on her birthday. Its just unfair she says we're babying Alex when she was babied herself.

Last Saturday, Matt picked up half his things and left everything else. But since than hasn't answered my calls. Soo. I'm assuming he's done getting his things. I just wanted him to get his desk and his books and shit. That stuffs gone now. He's left the cats, but I dont want to seperate them. He demanded I take Forte and I was upset with him. I write an entry about that conversation I'm sure sometime. I'm just getting tired right now. I think I vented pretty well. I'm just glad alot of this shit is done with. I can't believe how naive I was. He used me and my family selfishly and it showed. I just was soo blind yah know? I'm glad I have more depth and understanding. B/c now I know I dont ever want to fucking do that to my family ever again. I can't believe how much pain this house has had to go through this past six monthes. Its ridicilus. I can't wait for there to be happiest of times to be had. B/c everyone deserves it.

James wrote this last night. He's incredible. I dunno...just amazing. I'll write more later.

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I just thought I would write some things about myself which are somewhat unique.
When I was about 2 years old I was completely deaf, but I could understand everything that was going on around me. But when someone was trying to get my attention, but was standing behind me, I seemed to ignore them. I got in trouble for that a bit, but it didn't mean anything to me, because my brother or sisters would answer for me any way. So noone knew that I was deaf for about a year, including myself. I just thought everything was normal, that was just how it was...I could understand what was going on, and I didn't get in trouble any more than my siblings. My being deaf is part of the reason why I took sign language as my foreign language in HS, and also why I picked it up very fast.

I was kidnapped twice at 3 and a half years old, which landed me in 4 states; Hawaii, Cali, Washington, and Arizona. During this time I experienced being swept completely off the ground by a tropical storm (extreme high winds). The only thing I really remember besides the storm is runing through an overgrown field on my way to preschool or something like that, I was runing with other kids.

I lived in Arizona for about 7 years and loved just about everything about it. Swiming pools, blistering heat, storm water drainage culverts, soccer, my first time remodeling a house. This was also the first time having 7 teeth pulled at the dentist office, only to be followed up by another 6 about a year and a half later, which was also my first surgery.

11 to 17 was druming, coffee, bicycles, motorcycles, hackey sack, building my first entire house from the ground up on the side of a forested hill by my grandpa and myself doing everything except the concrete pour, which we put all the forms up for. And the trusses were built and hoisted for us, but we spaced and placed them. I did most of the tree clearing. We used almost all of the trees cleared from the land to build the house, either for shakes, or aesthetic facers. I did most of the framing, wiring (when I was electrocuted by 220V), insulation, and roofing, which led to my later taking up of the trade of roofing and the best paying job I have ever had.

At 17 years old I rode bicycle on a tour down the west coast, with one other person. We started in Seattle and rode out to the coast, and then south until we reached San Jose about a month later. At an average of about 12 mph I was very anxious to travel faster, but the other person (my brother in law's father) was still recovering from being hit by a car, which slowed us down a bit. This was one of the best experiences of my life. Very independant, and introspective while riding a bicycle (which is the catcher if ya know me well).

At 18 years old I was on a trip to England and back. I took a total of 13 flights in less than a month, with a total of over 48 hours spent onboard. The next most memorable time for me was during this time frame. I was invited to go to a theme park, California Adventure, with 2 couples and some children. I quickly figured out that if I stayed with the group, I was going to be the baby sitter. This was not how I wanted to spend my time in the park. I love kids, but I wasn't in the mood to have the responsibility 'shoved' on me.

And then again at 19 I rode with one of my friends, the same route down the west coast. This time we averaged from 19, to 23 mph per day :) that was the right speed for enjoying a bicycle trip! Both of tese trips we did a lot of camping and eating of fresh fruits and vegetables along the way. Probably the most healthy I have ever been. This was also the first time I rode 200 miles in one day!!! a big accomplishment for a bicycle.

Since then I have gained an interest in the electronic music scene, break dancing, and DJing. These experiences were accented by multiple road trips for no real reason, and adventure seeking activities like cliff diving and bridge jumping.
 
In 2003 I became somewhat bored with the predictability of that scene and started attending ITT-Technical seeking a degree in Electronics Engineering. I transferred to Bellevue Community College when ITT insisted on my taking Pre-Calc 2 Online without providing an instructors assistance. All this while charging prices near what a University would. I have since been attending BCC and enjoying the experience there. The whole time I have been attending school I have also been working in Piano sales at Prosser Piano, and a few other jobs at the same time. This has been by far the most busy time of my life. It is kept that way with the assistance of a Palm Pilot hand held electronic organizer.

One of the more recent goals accomplished is the completion of a certification program for installation of home solar energy systems. I took time off school to complete this course, and still made it through the quarter.

Right now I feel ready to finish my Bachelorate Degree and move on. I am still decicing which way I really want to go next. Besides working in the field of electronics, I am interested in completing coursework for a Chemical Engineering Degree. I would like to eventually seek a career in renewable energy research and implementation techniques with a dynamic and progressive small company.

Thanks for reading. I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments below.